What No One Tells You About Marriage.

J&J 20Bulletproof. No, not the movie. No, not the fad drink– although I think they are delicious! Your marriage. Is it bulletproof? My husband recently read an article about someone he looked up to had gotten a divorce. And it rocked his world. It surprised him and in a strange way, I think he was hurt by it.

It got me thinking…

No, not about getting a divorce. We talked about divorce before we even got married. It wasn’t and isn’t an option. We talked about the what if this happened or what if that happened. The only option was we would fight for our marriage. We were making a vow in front of God, our family and our friends and that was it. If we were getting married, married is what we were going to stay.

2019-02-02 13.28.15What it got me thinking was, is my marriage bulletproof? Is anyone’s marriage bulletproof? Fail proof? Shatter proof? Divorce proof? No. It is not. Let me tell you that again. Your marriage, no matter how great it is, is not bulletproof, not fail proof, not shatterproof, not divorce proof.

If someone has told you that marriage is easy. They are lying. Or their marriage is not what it could be. I am not a marriage expert. I am however a divorce expert. I see it every day. I work with clients every single day that are going through a divorce. I have heard pretty much every story and every reason why their marriage didn’t last. I have seen short term marriages fall apart and I have seen long term marriages fall apart.

Marriage takes time.

It takes effort.

It takes patience.

It takes change.

It takes love.

It takes courage.

It takes strength.

It sometimes takes all that you have left.

Then you keep going. Because the keep going part, that is the hard part. When you don’t want to keep going. When you don’t want to keep fighting to keep your marriage. When you don’t want to keep pushing forward. That is exactly when you are supposed to keep fighting, pushing and pulling for your marriage. It is in those moments that you will find new ways to love your spouse.


We both have fought hard to keep our marriage strong. We have both compromised, given up, sacrificed and fought for this marriage. We have grown closer together and at times farther apart. It has tested every ounce of our beings.  Great days and bad days. We have seen them all. In the end, we still are standing strong.

Let me make something clear though, not every marriage is capable of being saved. There are times when divorce is the only option. I understand that. I don’t blame those situations or condemn them. I simply am saying, marriages take work, don’t give up so easily because it is hard. Fight for them. Put in the effort. Pull for them.

How is your marriage today? If it has been awhile since you and your spouse have spent one on one time together, I encourage you to find the time. Schedule a date. Take him/her out to coffee, dinner, or a drink. Don’t miss out on being married.

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2 responses to “What No One Tells You About Marriage.”

  1. Another good writting Jess…keep up the good fight…


  2. I was really sad to hear about the popular Financial Independence (FI) blogger getting a divorce. My thought would be if I were to retire in my early 30’s, I would want to spend much of my time with my family. That picture that I had developed in my mind transferred to what I thought he would be doing with his time. Then I find out he got a divorce and it kind of shook my world a bit. I was definitely disappointed.


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